Overcoming Self-Doubt: How to Silence Your Inner Critic
As I approach 42, I’m learning that self-doubt often sneaks in during life’s transitions, amplifying questions about boundaries, asking for help, and overthinking every step. But I’ve realized that self-doubt isn’t a failure — it’s an invitation to grow and trust myself. Each new version of me is worth discovering, even in the face of uncertainty.
As I prepare to turn 42 this month, I’m struck by how each decade of life feels like a new chapter in self-discovery. With every milestone comes a deeper level of maturity, but also a version of myself I have to get to know. It’s both exciting and a little scary, especially as I continue working on my trauma. Self-doubt, however, tends to creep in during these moments of transition. For me, it often shows up as overthinking: Am I asking for enough help? Are my boundaries too strict? Am I doing this “life” thing right?
Overthinking has a way of amplifying self-doubt, making even small decisions feel monumental. I’ve found that self-doubt often stems from a lack of self-trust — questioning whether I’m making the right choices or handling challenges the way I should. Working on my trauma has taught me that these doubts don’t define me; they’re simply echoes of past wounds. I’ve realized the importance of pausing, breathing, and reminding myself that it’s okay to not have everything figured out.
One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned is that it’s okay to ask for help. For years, I believed that I had to handle everything on my own, but I’ve come to see that reaching out is a sign of strength, not weakness. At the same time, I’ve wrestled with setting boundaries — wondering if they’re too firm or too loose. I’ve discovered that boundaries are not about keeping people out; they’re about creating space for myself to grow and heal. And that’s something worth protecting.
As I step into this new year and a new version of myself, I’m committed to embracing self-doubt as part of the process, not a barrier. Overthinking may still pop up, but I’m learning to meet it with kindness rather than criticism. Life in my 40s is a beautiful mix of figuring things out and appreciating how far I’ve come. If you’re battling self-doubt, know that you’re not alone. Together, let’s move forward with compassion, courage, and the belief that we are enough — even in the moments when we question it.